Just lately, I’ve been doing a lot about thinking about life and the future, not that I have any special insight on the future, but several people who I either know personally, or know through my interaction with lots of people, have died, and at the age of 73, even though I am in good health, I have started wondering why I keep tilting at windmills. I have been considering getting my knees replaced, I have been trying to fight 50-year-old battles that I have fought before, and making plans like I’m going to live another 50 years or so. I’m not being morbid about it, but realistically, who knows how much time I have left on this earthly plane – at least this time around. But I keep stressing myself out over the political state of this country, the hatred in so many hearts, the loss of women’s rights by men who have no clue as to what women really want, and/or feel.
I have spent money on political donations, and for health reasons I don’t really have or need, as though things were never going to change for me. I have managed, though, to spend a little on myself. And I have had some pleasure doing so. I have a new Belleek baking dish I bought from QVC on St. Patrick’s Day, which I have used and will again. I bought a Killarney crystal key chain with Irish symbols on it which I plan to turn into a charm bracelet, less a Christian cross which I gave to my best friend because she is a Catholic, and the stones were the colour of her birthstone. I have bought some DVDs from TCM, and this weekend I want to buy the Star Trek original series set of all of the episodes. I want to buy a printer, and an easy/rocking chair, and I want to take a last trip to my hometown of Corpus Christi, TX, with Joyce, to see my sister perhaps one last time, and visit the city I grew up in.
After I saw a doctor about my knees, I learned I would first need to get all of the rest of my teeth removed because there is a danger of infection while getting the knees replaced, and then I heard from a friend who had her knees replaced that she was now regretting it – that there are problems with them. So I started thinking about my age and how many years I could reasonably keep living as long as my health remains good. But you never know when a heart attack will take you out, or if you are going to get run over by a bus. So I have decided that I love my apartment (which I already knew), I have actually learned how to relax and just live and be happy, and that I can stop thinking about “improvements” I don’t really need. Besides, and I’m trying to be funny here, and not morbid, I have the picture of having to pay out a lot of money for things not really needed to live another 20 or 30 or even 50 years – and the picture that comes to mind is that when I am dead, I will be cremated and my ashes thrown to the wind over water, and those damn knee replacements would just be laying in those ashes, intact. Funny image – right?
Politically, I have been so active for so many years, and have fought so many battles, and here I am, in 2014, watching the same things happen I saw in 1964. And I think, certainly I will vote as long as I can, and I will talk individually to friends and strangers about what would make everything better, and I realize that, of course, it will take my generation’s dying out to really see the changes fulfilled – by the generation of my granddaughter – the ones who have not been taught to hate, to see differences in people, to understand that not all religious or spiritual views of the world are the same for everyone. And that there needs to be more tolerance in people if everyone is to be equal and not let creeds or colour or language separate us. And really, my generation, born in 1940 and perhaps into the 50s and early 60s (the next one after mine), are the ones who lived through those dark times before Civil Rights Acts and sexual tolerance, and spiritual beliefs acceptance started to become the norm. So even if there are still a few around who are still living the way they were taught by their grandparents, most of youth is much more open-minded, and more likely to accept the changes.
I mean, think about it, women got the right to vote, eighteen-year-olds got the right to vote, homosexuals are getting the right to marry, marijuana has been voted legal in a number of states, and Christianity is not the only religion in America – I think it is probably a minority any more. Faster travel and media and social networks have introduced all of us to different people and different languages and different ways of life, and all these things have come to pass in spite of those who would try to stop them. Things do come to be accepted over time, and fighting back against them causes only angst.
The ACA closes its open enrollment at the end of this night (or at the equivalent of March 31 midnight wherever you are). Is the House going to keep trying to vote it out? What are they up to now? Fifty-five or fifty-six attempts? What are they going to do starting tomorrow in an attempt to make themselves look busy? Why do people keep wasting their times trying to stop things that are going to happen, no matter what anyone does?
Well, I would love to live to see hatred and discontent and war mongers, and all the things that are wrong in this country, and in this world, go away. I would love to see the most wealthy learn that having money does not make them better than you and me, even if we cannot afford to buy the cadillacs and yachts and mega-mansions that they have. I would love to see more tolerance for the disabled and infirm and old, and the realization that we are this way because of life itself. At 73, I cannot feel sorry for myself – I have earned every year of my age, and it is better than the alternative. Life is sacred, but worthless, if you age going to go through it mad and depressed and full of stress. Learn to love what you have, and if you want it a little better, be thankful you have the ability and time to get it all better. Just don’t make the mistake of thinking you have to have money to get there.
You know what most of the wealthy think? They are pretty unhappy, overall, and that is because they get to a point where they are afraid they are going to lose a dollar. For many, it is down to that simple thought that drives them crazy.
I have learned to live without much money. But I have a place to live, plenty of food, all the clothes I could ever wear, and many “things” that I don’t necessarily need, except they make me happy.
So politics, money, religion – they all come down to the same thing. Learn to live, learn to enjoy what you have, learn mostly to tolerate everyone else and their desire for the same things. Life is much too short to worry about the little things. And please note, if you are reading this, you either have a computer, or access to one, and are probably not among those who are hungry or homeless or naked. And if someone you know is, reach out and touch them. You don’t have to lose everything you have by doing so.
And remember God/dess said, to him/her is given the most, from him/her more is expected.
I love you all.