Divorce


This is just a few words about a book I’ve just finished:  I just read Tom Brokaw’s book “The Greatest Generation”, and one of the folks he interviewed, and that he commented on, was about divorce and that generation.

Those folks went through the great depression, and then World War II, and married, and stayed married.  In 1940, one in six of those marriages ended in divorce.  By the late 90s, it was one in two.

In 1997, when a lot of those WW II couples were asked how they felt if one of their own children (or grandchildren) were divorced, said “we still can’t get used to it.”

I know this doesn’t apply to every couple from those early days.  My great-grandmother, who was born in the 1860s, had five husbands.  I don’t have her records, but I’m pretty sure they didn’t all end in deaths.  It was her fourth husband which produced my grandmother (this was all on my mother’s side of the family).

My grandmother was divorced, though she never remarried.  My own mother was married three times (she abandoned my dad, when I was about five), and divorced all three times.  On the other hand, my dad’s parents stayed married until death (he followed her shortly after she died of cancer – he just did not want to live without her), but my dad married twice after my mother abandoned him – one ended in divorce, the other ended at his death.

I married and divorced twice before I was 24, but had the sense to understand that marriage was probably not in the cards for me.  My whole sister (same dad and mother) married twice – the first ended in divorce, she is still married to the second.

I wonder why divorce runs in such patterns, if staying in a marriage would have been easier for each generation had the former generation not done the same.  But, in my mother’s family of five brothers and three sisters, two of my uncles were divorced, while the other three stayed married (although one uncle lost his wife through cancer and was killed [shot] by his second), while all three of my aunts stayed married to their first husbands until death.  Among my cousins, there have been few divorces, yet those seem to have been in the families where the parent had been divorced.

You think someone might have done a study on this?

Carol Stepp, Austin, TX

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About carolstepp

Music is about the most important thing in my life, and I follow a large number of musicians, particularly Irish, Scots, Classical, Crossovers of any of these. I was writing a blog about Celtic Thunder regularly on MySpace, and now I have left them after a year, and will start writing my blogs here. I am 70, retired, living on Social Security, and have a lot of social network fans.
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2 Responses to Divorce

  1. mercadee says:

    I was married, but divorced my wife, we stayed at the same home after the divorced. She became pregnant by either by me, or my best friend she was having an affair with. I moved out, she came after me for child support, we settled out of court(because of the amount of money they wanted from me, was too much). I con’t to visit the child for about 3 years. She since then got a boyfreind, then married him, since my child was not talking yet, now he is, she has the child call her husband “daddy”, and call me by my first name, and considers me just a freind who stops by two times a week too play with him at lunch time.. She orchistrated me not as daddy or father, but some freind who just stops by. So i’m going to approach her with me relinquishing my rights as the father, and ask if her now husband, whom my child thinks is daddy, if he wants to adopt. I only see the child at my lunch breaks, at her request for the last three years, so I don’t think the child will miss me at all. My question is, how do i go about this? Also if she says no, I need to take her to court for legal real visitation rights and blood test (which she refuses to let me have), and let him know who his father is.. If the state of California, do you have to go to court for “relinqishing rights”? and must someone be there do adopt?

    • carolstepp says:

      I’m sorry this happened to you. I understand that living together even while separated, or getting a divorce, is sometimes an economical move. But your mistake was continuing to have with her, so the baby’s father was in doubt. I don’t know that much about California law, but I know it is the most liberal in the US on the side of the mother. But certainly, if the other man adopts the child and puts it in his name, you will no longer be responsible for any financial aid. Otherwise, since the child was born into a legal marriage, whether s/he is yours or not biologically, s/he is legally yours.

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